Walk with me on a little journey, would you? A figurative one, one of thoughts rather than movement, but a journey none the less.
A journey that begins with Truth. With Creation. With a Creator.
First, Truth. This word, spelled with a capital 'T,' is becoming my favorite word for representing the spiritual, God, heaven, righteousness, et cetera. Truth is all that is perfectly good and right. Perfect. Not improve-able.
As an artist starting a design on a project, what is your first step? A sketch? Not quite. First, you need to know the purpose of your project. Therefore, as a Creator designing a universe, don't you think God did the same thing?
And if His purpose was to glorify Himself, the Ultimate Truth, would modeling earth after heaven not be a wonderful way to start, a brilliant design concept?
At the next step on this journey, having started with the idea that Truth is the Ultimate right-ness, and that it cannot be improved upon and therefore is the model for all things that are to reflect that Truth, we come to the realization that Earth, therefore, must reflect heaven. So often, we look at societal constructs, at tradition, at humanities structures, and say, Well, that is just the way it has been for all time." Question for you, though: do you think these structures, like marriage, and family, and the church, and even the human body, just occurred at random? Or because God thought that they would work well?
Or did they occur because when God put those structures into place, He was modeling Truth?
Perhaps, just perhaps, all of these things in this 'natural' life we life, have something greater than their function... perhaps, just like us, these forms were created by the Creator, to glorify Him, to reflect His Truth.
Let's examine this a bit further. I believe that on earth, we can see glimpses of this Truth. That when you have had a time of true worship, or an encouraging and uplifting conversation with a friend, or have seen the church pull together to support someone in need, that those are glimpses of God's kingdom in its perfection. "For now we see as through a glass, darkly." Until just recently, I didn't really think of the natural order of things as reflecting the spiritual order of God's kingdom.
Marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His church. Family reflects the church which reflects the spiritual truths of unity and relationship and diverse functions that we see in God's relationship with the church, the angels, and us. Even the human body reflects these same truths. Kingdoms on earth, such as David's rule in the Old Testament, reflect Truth as well. We can see the concept of one being having authority, by right, to rule - those kingdoms in which the king reflected God were ones in which the rule carried both judgement and mercy, authority and love. Just like God's kingdom.
Truth - the way God meant things to be, in all of its perfection.
Does this not give us a greater responsibility then, to take these models of perfection in which we were placed, and in Christ's strength, to carry out His mandate, His purpose, in every aspect? To work out His Truth in our marriages, our family, and our churches?
1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Monday, 10 June 2013
Thursday, 6 June 2013
To be, or not to be.
That is the question.
I've had several discussions recently with some wonderful friends regarding the importance of just being.
Finances. Service. Ministry. Outreach. Witnessing. I believe that Christ's presence in your life should be manifested in all of these areas, in a way that is not forced but that is who to you are inside. So often, the world of Christianity talks about "works," "acts of service," "giving," and "helping." These are all great words, but I think sometimes we forget about what has to be behind all of them. We must simply be.
Finances: What am I? I am a child of God, provided for by Him. Blessed by Him because He loves me and because He wants me to bless others. But first of all, I am His child. When I give financially, I ought to give, not because that is the rule (ten percent or may hell-fire rain down on you!), and not because I feel either guilty because I have more or prideful because I give more, but because I am. I am His child, and out of that identity, I ask my Father to whom and how much I should give as His child, a steward of His resources. It might be more than ten percent; it might be less. It might be outside of what I think I can spare (How silly, to think that when God the Creator of the Universe loves you!), but as His child, do I trust Him enough to actually be His child and trust His provision?
Service/Ministry/Outreach: I don't work in Sunday School because I'm obligated or because I want to impress people. I do it because I am God's child... I do it because of who I am. I am God's child and He has given me a special love for children.
Witnessing: I was thinking of this in context of every day stuff like being a witness for Christ at school or at work. I work in a sales position... not at a church, or a shelter, or at an outreach mission, or at a school (yet! See http://skuipersclassroom.blogspot.ca/ :) ). I struggled with that when I was gearing up for the summer. Should I have a more noble, a more 'Christian' summer job? Where it felt like I could actually do some good? This is where the concept of being became so important to me. Rather than the witnessing coming for the 'doing' at work, it would come from the 'being,' allowing Christ's light to shine through me.
Sometimes, this is harder. You can't rely on your works, then, to validate you, to let you know you are being a 'good Christian.' Rather, you make small decisions that are true to who you are that let people see Christ in you. This requires a lot of waiting and remaining and not knowing if you are doing any good at all. But some "are called to plant and some to water, but God gives the increase." Resting in this, in that you are God's child, no matter where you are placed or how insignificant it seems, requires holding on to Him and holding on to truth - sometimes it is difficult, because we have to let go of the pride of men (oh look at how good she is, and how she serves) or our own self-worth struggles.
However, this is also a place of rest, to know that your worth comes from who you are - no matter what you are doing, that identity cannot be taken away from you. So many times we derive our value from what we can bring - in this case, the starting point, the motivation of our lives is our desire to do what seems right, what is right. However, that motivation alone cannot hold. It is law based, not truth based. That motivation comes from within us, and "even youths will faint and grow weary" when they try it on their own. On the other hand, "those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength." When we realize the source of our power, our Heavenly Father, and we realize that He strengthens us because we are His child, then we have the staying power to carry out his purposes. When we release our grasp on living by the rules and live truth, there is freedom.
There isn't really a way to "do" this. No formula to live by being instead of doing. Rather, it is a step by step, moment-by-moment communication with your Father that will keep you and me in that place in which doing comes from being, and when there is nothing, it seems, to do, we can simply be.
I've had several discussions recently with some wonderful friends regarding the importance of just being.
Finances. Service. Ministry. Outreach. Witnessing. I believe that Christ's presence in your life should be manifested in all of these areas, in a way that is not forced but that is who to you are inside. So often, the world of Christianity talks about "works," "acts of service," "giving," and "helping." These are all great words, but I think sometimes we forget about what has to be behind all of them. We must simply be.
Finances: What am I? I am a child of God, provided for by Him. Blessed by Him because He loves me and because He wants me to bless others. But first of all, I am His child. When I give financially, I ought to give, not because that is the rule (ten percent or may hell-fire rain down on you!), and not because I feel either guilty because I have more or prideful because I give more, but because I am. I am His child, and out of that identity, I ask my Father to whom and how much I should give as His child, a steward of His resources. It might be more than ten percent; it might be less. It might be outside of what I think I can spare (How silly, to think that when God the Creator of the Universe loves you!), but as His child, do I trust Him enough to actually be His child and trust His provision?
Service/Ministry/Outreach: I don't work in Sunday School because I'm obligated or because I want to impress people. I do it because I am God's child... I do it because of who I am. I am God's child and He has given me a special love for children.
Witnessing: I was thinking of this in context of every day stuff like being a witness for Christ at school or at work. I work in a sales position... not at a church, or a shelter, or at an outreach mission, or at a school (yet! See http://skuipersclassroom.blogspot.ca/ :) ). I struggled with that when I was gearing up for the summer. Should I have a more noble, a more 'Christian' summer job? Where it felt like I could actually do some good? This is where the concept of being became so important to me. Rather than the witnessing coming for the 'doing' at work, it would come from the 'being,' allowing Christ's light to shine through me.
Sometimes, this is harder. You can't rely on your works, then, to validate you, to let you know you are being a 'good Christian.' Rather, you make small decisions that are true to who you are that let people see Christ in you. This requires a lot of waiting and remaining and not knowing if you are doing any good at all. But some "are called to plant and some to water, but God gives the increase." Resting in this, in that you are God's child, no matter where you are placed or how insignificant it seems, requires holding on to Him and holding on to truth - sometimes it is difficult, because we have to let go of the pride of men (oh look at how good she is, and how she serves) or our own self-worth struggles.
However, this is also a place of rest, to know that your worth comes from who you are - no matter what you are doing, that identity cannot be taken away from you. So many times we derive our value from what we can bring - in this case, the starting point, the motivation of our lives is our desire to do what seems right, what is right. However, that motivation alone cannot hold. It is law based, not truth based. That motivation comes from within us, and "even youths will faint and grow weary" when they try it on their own. On the other hand, "those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength." When we realize the source of our power, our Heavenly Father, and we realize that He strengthens us because we are His child, then we have the staying power to carry out his purposes. When we release our grasp on living by the rules and live truth, there is freedom.
There isn't really a way to "do" this. No formula to live by being instead of doing. Rather, it is a step by step, moment-by-moment communication with your Father that will keep you and me in that place in which doing comes from being, and when there is nothing, it seems, to do, we can simply be.
Monday, 20 May 2013
In the morning.
I have a yearly tradition. Every May, I spend at least a few evenings sitting online in front of my bank accounts. I look at my OSAP estimate, what (if any) money I have left from the past year, scholarships I am guaranteed and scholarships I've applied for.
Basically, I sit and worry. I know to trust, but every time I crunch numbers, I take ownership again, my perceived "right" to control my life.
About halfway through, I commented to my family that I should just forget about figuring out the numbers and just trust God. My friend agreed - if that is where God wants me, He will provide.
He's proven that year after year, but still I struggle. He has already provided this year, in the form of guaranteed hours and a raise - a real answer to prayer. But still I worry when the numbers come up short, and I still get a sense of relief only when I see that logically I should be able to come up with the money. Because, yes, I still finished figuring it out...
Something that keeps popping up lately is the importance of having God as the focus, as having your faith pre-eminent in every aspect of your life. My school holds a worship service every month, and one of the last ones was on the helmet of salvation. I was thinking afterwards that a helmet is meant to protect your brain. Your brain is the seat of your emotions, your intelligence, and your decisions. My helmet of salvation covers my decisions. It covers my emotions. My salvation protects them from the influence that Satan wants to have.
But in order for a helmet to have its desired effect, the soldier must put it on. It doesn't help if it stays tucked away in the tent. Or to bring it closer to home during this playoff season, a helmet doesn't do a player any good if it stays in the hockey bag.
This is something that God has really been bringing to my attention since I've come home. I was doing devotions one night, asking God what He wanted to do in me over the summer (Tangent: I love the question "What is God doing in your life right now" because there is always an answer. If you don't have an answer, it is because you are not paying attention or are not open to it, not because God is not working. God is always working. Tangent over.). Anyways, I asked Him, and a song from my childhood came into my head - "Oh God, you are my God; and I will every praise you. I will seek you in the morning, and I will learn to walk in your ways; And step-by-step You'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days."
I will seek you in the morning. This really struck me. I've started setting my alarm earlier, and I start the day with this song in my head and a prayer to above all else, bring God glory in everything I do and say. To show His love and grace in my life by the way I treat people and my attitude at work.
I visited my friend's church this morning and the pastor reminded us of the verse "His Divine Power has given to us all things that are needed for life and godliness" and another that says "Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Christ's grace and God's love must be my staying power. It must be the source of my joy when things are sunny and my source of peace and hope and comfort in the moments and seasons of brokenness. Every single day, I need to be reminding myself of where my help comes from and thanking God that He gives me what I need to live abundantly that day. I must hunger for righteousness and realize that God is the one who fills.
I must seek His face one day at a time, starting every morning with a prayer to glorify Him so that my helmet of salvation, God's grace and love, guides what I do and say to bring the glory to Him, the one who is worthy.
Basically, I sit and worry. I know to trust, but every time I crunch numbers, I take ownership again, my perceived "right" to control my life.
About halfway through, I commented to my family that I should just forget about figuring out the numbers and just trust God. My friend agreed - if that is where God wants me, He will provide.
He's proven that year after year, but still I struggle. He has already provided this year, in the form of guaranteed hours and a raise - a real answer to prayer. But still I worry when the numbers come up short, and I still get a sense of relief only when I see that logically I should be able to come up with the money. Because, yes, I still finished figuring it out...
Something that keeps popping up lately is the importance of having God as the focus, as having your faith pre-eminent in every aspect of your life. My school holds a worship service every month, and one of the last ones was on the helmet of salvation. I was thinking afterwards that a helmet is meant to protect your brain. Your brain is the seat of your emotions, your intelligence, and your decisions. My helmet of salvation covers my decisions. It covers my emotions. My salvation protects them from the influence that Satan wants to have.
But in order for a helmet to have its desired effect, the soldier must put it on. It doesn't help if it stays tucked away in the tent. Or to bring it closer to home during this playoff season, a helmet doesn't do a player any good if it stays in the hockey bag.
This is something that God has really been bringing to my attention since I've come home. I was doing devotions one night, asking God what He wanted to do in me over the summer (Tangent: I love the question "What is God doing in your life right now" because there is always an answer. If you don't have an answer, it is because you are not paying attention or are not open to it, not because God is not working. God is always working. Tangent over.). Anyways, I asked Him, and a song from my childhood came into my head - "Oh God, you are my God; and I will every praise you. I will seek you in the morning, and I will learn to walk in your ways; And step-by-step You'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days."
I will seek you in the morning. This really struck me. I've started setting my alarm earlier, and I start the day with this song in my head and a prayer to above all else, bring God glory in everything I do and say. To show His love and grace in my life by the way I treat people and my attitude at work.
I visited my friend's church this morning and the pastor reminded us of the verse "His Divine Power has given to us all things that are needed for life and godliness" and another that says "Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Christ's grace and God's love must be my staying power. It must be the source of my joy when things are sunny and my source of peace and hope and comfort in the moments and seasons of brokenness. Every single day, I need to be reminding myself of where my help comes from and thanking God that He gives me what I need to live abundantly that day. I must hunger for righteousness and realize that God is the one who fills.
I must seek His face one day at a time, starting every morning with a prayer to glorify Him so that my helmet of salvation, God's grace and love, guides what I do and say to bring the glory to Him, the one who is worthy.
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
Did they know?
I'm writing this because I, like so many others tonight, am shaken and sad. I shed tears tonight for a man I've never met. Although I didn't know Tim Bosma, I know people that did. It seems so innocent, the selling of a truck. One doesn't have to know a man to grieve his wrongful death and the impact that it will have on his friends and family.
Did they know?
Did those men who responded to that advertisement and took that truck with Tim for a drive know that because of their actions, a little girl would never be tucked into bed by her daddy again?
Did they know that every time she had a dance recital or birthday party or graduation, the celebration would be marred by the fact that someone so important was missing? All for what? A truck?
When they carried out their plan, did they know that in twenty years when his little girl walks down the aisle - on the day that should not contain an iota of sadness - a tear will be shed because her father isn't there to walk that aisle with her?
Did they think of that?
Did they know that every night, a woman will go to bed, not with the arms of her husband around her, but the aching pains of loneliness instead?
Did they know that every time she needs to make a parenting decision, attend an event, celebrate a birth, or mourn a death, she will grieve the loss of her husband all over again?
Were they aware that Tim's presence will be missed by a wife and a daughter every day for the rest of their lives?
Did they know?
Did they know that an entire country would rally around Tim's wife and daughter?
Did they know that relatives, friends, and strangers alike would volunteer their time and their love to help this hurting family?
Did they know that for all the tears shed - by family, by friends, and by complete strangers - God kept count?
Did they know that those tears would be matched by immeasurable amounts of prayer, of people coming before the Father of All to ask Him to hold and heal and comfort?
Did they know that no matter how evil their motives and how black their minds, the loving grace of God shines through, even in this?
Did they know that the wife and daughter have a God who promises to comfort the widow and to be a Father to the Fatherless?
Did these men know that this family's broken hearts are held by a God whose heart is breaking too?
Tonight, I am sad; in my sadness, I am thankful that "we do not mourn as those who do not have hope."
Did they know?
Did those men who responded to that advertisement and took that truck with Tim for a drive know that because of their actions, a little girl would never be tucked into bed by her daddy again?
Did they know that every time she had a dance recital or birthday party or graduation, the celebration would be marred by the fact that someone so important was missing? All for what? A truck?
When they carried out their plan, did they know that in twenty years when his little girl walks down the aisle - on the day that should not contain an iota of sadness - a tear will be shed because her father isn't there to walk that aisle with her?
Did they think of that?
Did they know that every night, a woman will go to bed, not with the arms of her husband around her, but the aching pains of loneliness instead?
Did they know that every time she needs to make a parenting decision, attend an event, celebrate a birth, or mourn a death, she will grieve the loss of her husband all over again?
Were they aware that Tim's presence will be missed by a wife and a daughter every day for the rest of their lives?
Did they know?
Did they know that an entire country would rally around Tim's wife and daughter?
Did they know that relatives, friends, and strangers alike would volunteer their time and their love to help this hurting family?
Did they know that for all the tears shed - by family, by friends, and by complete strangers - God kept count?
Did they know that those tears would be matched by immeasurable amounts of prayer, of people coming before the Father of All to ask Him to hold and heal and comfort?
Did they know that no matter how evil their motives and how black their minds, the loving grace of God shines through, even in this?
Did they know that the wife and daughter have a God who promises to comfort the widow and to be a Father to the Fatherless?
Did these men know that this family's broken hearts are held by a God whose heart is breaking too?
Tonight, I am sad; in my sadness, I am thankful that "we do not mourn as those who do not have hope."
Thursday, 18 April 2013
So, How are you?
If you were to ask my right now how I am, and I were to be completely honest, it would be a long and complicated answer. You see, I don't really know... There are a lot of possible answers to that. So do I answer "Good, how are you?" or do I say "I'm doing all right" or maybe I should say "Not so great."
Why so many possible answers?
Just because. Because there are a lot of emotions in my heart and a lot of thoughts in my head, and I'm not quite sure how they all come together.
You see, I'm happy. I'm happy because I handed in my Honours thesis and a curriculum unit, both of which were massive school projects. I'm proud to be done them. I'm also happy because I have God and great friends and a great dorm and a great family.
But, I'm also stressed. I have three exams in the next six days, plus packing up, getting my girls moved out, and working almost everyday. And an event that I'm organizing. So it's a bit stressful - trying to put enough studying time in is difficult.
I'm also a weird mix of motivated and not. I want to do well on my exams, to finish strong, and get scholarships. It's both a pride and a financial thing. But I'm so tired... I'm tired of school, and I'm tired of trying so hard and running to get so many things done. I just want it to be over.
I'm also in this weird state of reminiscing over time at Redeemer, being ready for the end of the year, but being sad that my BA and my time in dorm is over. It feels like I'm losing something.
I'm also very sad. This I think is the one that is messing me up the most. A close family friend committed suicide last week. My heart breaks for his wife and kids. My parents are close to his wife, and I babysat the four children for years, and I can't quite reconcile that this has happened. The questions are there, and I won't get answers, because there are no answers. I can be okay with that, but I have a much harder time being okay with that for his family. I struggle with the thought that they struggle with questions, and probably will for a while. I hated being at school instead of at home.
So all of these emotions and all of these thoughts swirl around in my head and my heart... What do I do with them? How do I know how I am or what I need?
I don't really have a good answer for those questions, just like I don't have a good answer for the question "Hey, how are you?" (which, by the way, do most people even mean? Food for thought.)
A thought came to me though when I was struggling through this. "All things cohere in Christ," or "All things hold together in Christ." If I trust Him, and put my heart in His hands, and submit my thoughts to Him, He promises to pull it all together. In Him, I have someone who understands that I am happy and sad, excited and confused, and confused about the paradox. So maybe it's okay that I don't know how all of these emotions and thoughts come together to make up my current state.
Maybe it's okay that I don't know how it all works together because I know who works it all together.
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Being Busy.
Writing this post is not a wise decision, by math anyway. By math, I should go to bed like... yesterday. Instead, I'm on my computer, but I think it might not be so bad. Maybe in all of the craziness that is this week, time to unwind is more important than sleep? (To give some context - I am finishing my thesis, I have my thesis defense in three days, a 100 page curriculum unit due the same day as my 50 page thesis, three exams, and another major paper. All due in the next 14 days. And I have to close up dorm. So, to put it mildly, I've been a bit stressed. Mostly about the thesis defense - presentations aren't my thing.)
But some good things happened. I finished the rough draft of my major paper, I almost completed my unit, and I made my presentation way better, and it turns out, I have the first four slides memorized. Who knew?! I also was craving chocolate, and guess what showed up two minutes later, in the form of a thank-you from a neighbor for editing his paper! That was pretty awesome. Then I did devos, and showered, and now I'm blogging while watching random videos.
Why am I sharing this, you ask? Because I tend to focus on my physical needs as coming before my soul needs. I tend to get busy - very busy - and the Bible stays in the same place, untouched, for a few days. I tend to pray, but not with full attention, not with the adoration and reliance on God that He deserves. Business can suck away good intentions and prioritized lists.
Fight this.
Feed your spirit; feed your soul.
Maybe I just needed that hug I got. I definitely needed that time with God, and this blogging thing is so relaxing... Maybe, just maybe, this is more important than sleep.
Maybe I'll regret this decision in seven hours when my alarm goes off.
But some good things happened. I finished the rough draft of my major paper, I almost completed my unit, and I made my presentation way better, and it turns out, I have the first four slides memorized. Who knew?! I also was craving chocolate, and guess what showed up two minutes later, in the form of a thank-you from a neighbor for editing his paper! That was pretty awesome. Then I did devos, and showered, and now I'm blogging while watching random videos.
Why am I sharing this, you ask? Because I tend to focus on my physical needs as coming before my soul needs. I tend to get busy - very busy - and the Bible stays in the same place, untouched, for a few days. I tend to pray, but not with full attention, not with the adoration and reliance on God that He deserves. Business can suck away good intentions and prioritized lists.
Fight this.
Feed your spirit; feed your soul.
Maybe I just needed that hug I got. I definitely needed that time with God, and this blogging thing is so relaxing... Maybe, just maybe, this is more important than sleep.
Maybe I'll regret this decision in seven hours when my alarm goes off.
He Waits.
I have a random thought for anyone who happens to read this. I finished Grace for the Good Girl tonight, and one line stuck out to me. The author is talking about a car accident, and she says "I waited for the anxiety to pass. It didn't. Not for a long time, anyway. So I waited. He waited too." This struck me as so profound, and so beautiful. That when we are waiting for peace, or for joy, He is too. He is with us, even if we do not feel it. I was reading in John, the third chapter near the end (which doesn't get read as much because people get stuck on 3:16). John the Baptist is talking about Jesus and He says "for God gives the Spirit without limit" or in another translation "does not give the Spirit by measure." This too really struck me. God doesn't give us just part of His Spirit, wait till we pray the right number of prayers and then give us some more. No! He gives freely, and we have that Spirit working in us, all of it, all-sufficient for us, speaking words of truth, directing where we should go, bringing us to our Heavenly Father.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)