On Wonder

It's been a while. Like, a year, since I've written a post. A lot has happened. I've graduated, moved out, found a job. I'm teaching at two Christian schools in my area. And maybe someday I'll write about what that was like... and about first year teaching... and about how much life teaches you.

But for today, this Sunday, this day especially dedicated to the worship and the admiration of the Creator, I'm reflecting on a few experiences I've had recently.

It's easy, when you've gone to church all your life, heard all the cliches, been to the services, to lose the big picture - the wonder that Jesus actually did come down to earth as a baby, lived, died a horrible death, and wonder-of-wonders rose again! Ask a new Christian - that is just WOW!

But I don't always feel that. I'm so very blessed that I know it and have heard it so often, but I don't want to forget that it's an awesome gift. I don't want to take it for granted.

Thankfully - God knows me. Better than I know me.

A few weeks ago, I was at church, and the band was doing a great job. It was one of those mornings for me where worship is a choice you make, but the emotion isn't necessarily there. I was tired. I wa a bit down, struggling with some stuff. While I was singing, I happened to look towards the front side. And there was a boy... I'll call him S. I've known S since he was young. He is on the autism spectrum and very special to my heart. And he was in the very front, rocking back and forth to the music. And he was smiling. Not gentle in-my-own-world smiling, but a wow-this-is-awesome grin. 

Like, wow-this-is-awesome. Amazing love, how can it be, that you my King have died for me!

This was my first reminder. 

Then last night, the youth of our church put on a service for their peers who either were not following Christ or who were just riding the coat-tails of their parents' faith. This group, around twelve of them, had come to our lay pastor after a trip and admitted their struggle with faith and their desire to press in. And now, six months later, they took their passion to their friends. It was amazing.

Music, worship, dance, etc. but two things especially. 1. Their testimonies to their peers. Their willingness to be vulnerable and not-cool for the gospel. To  use their gifts for Him. 2. The last part of the program was a call to respond. The team went out and just prayed. There were tears, laughter, and hearts tugged to the Father. I cried.

I'm a teacher. I teach students between the ages of Junior Kindergarten and Grade 8. I know highschoolers. And I see kids start in a Christian school in the primary grades excited about God and faith and life. And I see it die. I see kids become less wowed by God's love and more drawn towards the loves of the world. And it hurts me. I went to a Christian university. I saw people dedicated to their faith and I saw amazing things happen, but I also saw peers who were just there to get away from their parents and party their years away. Despite all the opportunities there was to grow. And it hurts me. 

Watching those teens step our in faith in front of their peers was a reminder to me. That God is still in the business of redemption. That even though we are living in a world of 50 Shades and pornography addiction and sexting and apathy, and even though I look at these kids that I know and it sometimes looks like they don't have a chance to make the right choices, that God fights our battles for us. And ensures the victory.