Objectified by men, valued by God.

***EDIT: I decided to post this. Not because it is comfortable (this is pushing the boundaries of my vulnerability - this one is requiring courage), but because I believe God asked me to and because I feel like I am not the only woman who has or will face this - how to declare God's truth about yourself when a man insinuates otherwise. 

Be blessed. In God's love and truth, be blessed.***

This might be one of those posts that I write but never publish. If you're reading it, then I guess I decided to press that button.

A man made a sexual comment to me today. It's not so much that I've never had people make sexual jokes around me or even to me - that sadly seems to be what happens when you work in a secular workplace. But he made this about me and to me.

It hurt. Not in a piercing sort of way, but in a devaluing sort of way. In that one sentence, he made me feel less than me. Less than a person. Less than a woman whose heart has been made beautiful and valued by Her Creator.

I can't really explain how much it bothered me. Maybe I should have had an easier time letting go. But I didn't. I couldn't shake that feeling of somehow being less. Being dirty, even though I did nothing to provoke the comment.

I couldn't shake it.

I closed the store by myself tonight, and on the walk from the store, across the field to the staff parking lot, I prayed. Out loud.

I prayed truth - that I am a daughter, most treasured by my Father the King. I prayed truth - that what one man said could not reduce my value. I prayed truth - that I can forgive the man who said that because I have a great God who forgave me.

Yet, that feeling clung to me. Maybe I clung to it. It was something that kept coming back during the evening.

I opened my Bible tonight, knowing I needed to refocus. I'm reading Isaiah right now, and the section I'm reading discusses how despite Israel having a God who loved them, they worshiped other idols. They held on to other things instead of God.

After I read, as I closed my Bible, I came across a prayer note tucked in my Bible that I had written during the school year.

In it, I thanked God for the girls in my dorm. For my friends. For my family.
But the next part of that letter, written months ago, stopped me.

"Bless x---, x---, x---, and x---. Please help me mean that.

Your love is strong.

You give so much, gave so much. I don't know how to thank you for that. I stand in awe of You.

S." 

I had listed by name people who had hurt me or people close to me. People who had been hard to forgive, that I still struggled with loving.

Reading this, including the thanks and the awe of God, made me remember where my focus needed to lie, when trying to love someone when it was hard.

My focus, when reconciling the feelings of disgust that arose from this incident, needs to be on the wonder of the God who calls me Pure, Beautiful, and Precious.

This is one more way that God brings beauty in brokenness - taking something harmful, a comment reflecting the brokenness of sin, and taking that shame away that is not mine to have, showing me the beauty of His love for me.