On seasons.

WORD OF THE DAY:

1. conflicted  past participle, past tense of con·flict (Verb)

   Verb Be incompatible or at variance; clash. Having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings.

It seems to me that as soon as you get used to a season, life changes on you and moves on to the next.

Life is never boring that way, I guess.

I've just gotten used to summer, and in a week it is over. Not the actually weather season, but the season of my life. The summer job is over, and school is about to begin.

And I'm conflicted.

I'm so excited for my trip to the States in a week and for school directly after that - seeing all of my friends and taking classes that I am passionate about. But I've enjoyed my work and have felt blessed...I'm back into the rhythm of summer...

I'm having "mutually inconsistent feelings."

Sad and happy. Reluctant but eager. Holding on but anticipating what is next.

And, silly me, kind of protesting it. "Why? Why must there always be change and this weird I-don't-know-how-to-feel? How do you be content when you aren't in one 'state' to be content in, but you have two states?"

I'm referring to Paul, when he says in Philippians 4:11, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am to be content." But I wasn't sure how to do this verse when you are not really in one season, but in between.

And it came to me: perhaps the secret is thankfulness.

Seeing God's grace in the changing of the seasons.

Seeing His blessings in the beauty of both seasons. Appreciating the remaining heat of summer while appreciating the changing colors, if you will.

Being content by giving thanks. Solving this "conflicted" feeling by replacing it with the act of giving thanks. My feelings will follow.

How blessed am I! To be sad to leave the place I've been but be happy to arrive at the place I'm going.

Does this not reflect our seasons of life? This temporal life now - God has made it good. Not always fun, but overall, we like this life. He has created it with joy and beauty as He restores the brokenness and hurt. So we are sad to leave it, or to see others leave it.

But yet we are anticipating the life to come - when this season of life is on earth, we are excited for the next one, happy when we arrive at the next.

How beautiful...

What an opportunity for gratitude, this conflicted-ness within me. An opportunity to be thankful that I am sad to be leaving a wonderful season and to be thankful that I am anticipating a wonderful season.